keskiviikko 7. tammikuuta 2009

So, I messed up the dates. It was 20th december.

Today, at seventh of january, I realised in FRRO that I've messed up the dates. Actual day when we left to Orissa was nineteenth december. But you cannot win always, especially if you happen to be one of those few people reading this blog.
FRRO taught me a big lesson. You can really make huge difference just by being serene and having buddhist grin. Although, I guess jesus grin would done fine as well as the buddhist one. 18th december was nerve breaking, exhausting and this one was completely nice. Everything was running out smoothly and I broke up few jokes with staff. Exact opposite what I had before! Well, I think morning prayers had their own flavor to add on this mess. And the fact I am almost one month older. AND having travelled in Orissa for ten days (woo hoo). Not forgetting, I left out the usual stress out morning coffee.
Funny though, those things which makes you crazy, are most the wanted in habit list. Other theory is, that I really should meet a somekind of bush doctor to make me a goody goody everyday routine.

We set on to the journey to the place of 64 Dakinis. Mostly the enviroment looks like the countryside in Finland. If you just add there more dust, more temperature and take away all those pinus and picea trees and replace them with palm trees. Enviroment was also more open and plain, compared to this far away brother.
This nice temple was situated in a middle of crag. There was no roof and it was made out of Idontknow stone. (I really need to modify this article after I have done few backup conversations with rinpoche..) In the middle of temple, there is standing Chakrasamvara statue. Chakrasamvara being one of the most important deities in buddhist tantric practices. His duty, or to put in more polite way, siddha is to break through attachment and desire. The most famous expression of -samvara is the Shiva. Shiva being the outer, Avalokiteshvara being the inner, Chakrasamvara the secret and the most secret expression being a Heruka.
So there we were, preparing for Tsok picnic and taking much as pictures we can of these statues. Our picnic would have been failure if there would not been any meat or alcohol, but we had, oh boy, we had. Even though, we put alcohol in pepsi bottle in order to disguise it from those
who dont have any idea what we were doing there.
It gave quite a strange feeling when rinpoche blowed three time to this thigh bone trumpet. Yes, gyaling made out of a human bone. Making airwaves change quickly into a tantric athmosphere. More strangely, group of girls came to visit this temple from boarding school, when the time was for the offerings to come about.
It was one of the nicest lunch I've had in long time and it felt like being in middle of Dakinis, whomever they might be...
Although, I became quite jealous towards the attention Lindsay was enjoying from those girls.

tiistai 6. tammikuuta 2009

So it was 21th december

...When we set out on the journey, not knowing what dangers might wait ahead. Is there going to be serious temples, some serious action, human sacrifices? Surely we didnt know what karma had planned before our path, but somehow our destiny was written in stars long before. There is no such thing like a coincidence.
Slowly I woke up from my usual slumber, tossed, turned myself in bed and had breakfast with family. And more importantly I had breakfast with a karmic family which I was going to accompany for next ten days...
Then I put some marmonite on a tibetan bread. Although it looked kind gooey ( I mean, this marmonite thang), bread did not resist the destiny I was forging. Nor did it not develop it further. Gotta say, it tasted kind a, kind of, a swamp or a wood or something. I was a lucky enough to have Lindsay sitting next to me and warn what dangers it might contain. So I had just used little this.. well.. erm... marmonite. I guess, if something has to be healthy, it cannot be
good on the sametime. You need to buy two things or get rid of another.
Eventually we got our asses on a train. I really had no idea what might follow next, when this Rinpoche started say hilarious stories and more candid theories about different lineages and how they got their names. Especially this one lineage. I am not going to write here anything too offensive, but to leave everything to your own wild imagination, being quite a sure that there are people who cannot take a slightest possible sarcasm on their shoulder. If you want to get somekind of aa idea, I suggest you read the story of Marpa and find out what these teachers had to say, and messages they left, to each other. Well, atleast a gelukpa prononcuation have somekind of.. uh oh.. a strange tone. More appropiate term would be a galukpa, as it stands for the Ganden temple.
Ogyan Tanzin Rinpoche told us a story about this village on a eastern region of Assam. Being full of yoginis, it is rather difficult to get there. Only way to reach is by a river, where two currents meet. And more likely, it is very difficult to get out of there, once left there drifting in own destiny.
Apparently these female yoginis have developed certain siddhis, they have capacity to turn mans into goats, or even pigs. And they do that! During daytime, man are goats and on nightime they're again turned into consorts enjoy yoginis with a erotical play. Maybe some men would dream of it, but I still would not like to eat my own shit at daytime. That is just too high price to pay for impermanent pleasure, which is like a salt water.

maanantai 29. joulukuuta 2008

So, it was 20th december...

...When I found myself fighting, not only rikshawallahs, but also indian authorities in FRRO at Delhi. Everything was complete torment and strong aghast conquered my spirit on that
day, due to disastreous, pushy atmosphere having to cope with. Believe it or not, but for me it seems to take tremendous amount of time get used to it, being the first one and you know the rest.
Reason for me to be there was mainly getting new visa. Yeah, at the moment I dont have visa, I am in India, and only visa I have is photocopy of my swedish passport. Well, why dont you get new one from embassy fool? Hey mofo, dont ya think I havent tried? Issue is that I forgot to apply for citizenship before 21th birth day (I am citizen due to being my fathers son), hence
I have passport up to year 2015 but citizenship ended at 2007. Other thing is that I managed to lose (it was stolen, but authorities marked it as misplaced due to bueraucracy (again)). So I was sent to Embassy of Finland where I got new passport without a visa. And now I have to fight myself through paperwar in order to place my ass on Nepals soil in distant future.
I did not have enough time to fight with them, and so I flew to Varanasi without a visa. Auspicious enough, no one in Airport had not brains or interest (or I was too lucky) to ask
it or even notice the huge missing space in papers. There I met, in arrival point, principal of
university, got a drive in Safari Tata almost to Sarnath and from there I went to seek Lopon Ogyan Tanzin.
After several misunderstandings and wrong addresses, helpful monk kid helped me to his place. There I found out that my own appointments need to wait,and he had sent me email as reply before (I didnt see any, even though I checked my email every day!) , because he is leaving to Orissa to do pilgrimage in morning of 21th december. Trying to imitate spontaneosity of past masters, I joined the group, and so begun my strange, but enlightening journey in Mysterious Oddiyana...

perjantai 28. marraskuuta 2008

Delhi - Dehradun

Sumuisten, tai paremminkin smogisten, kujien lapi saavuin Delhin juna-asemalle. Paikka joka on taynna roskaa, kerjalaisia, ihmisia. Koko Suomen vakiluku mikrokoossa. Ja tama asema ei edes ollut isoimmasta paasta. Olin varannut astetta paremman 'hytin' matkani ajaksi, joka koostui
yhdesta paallystetysta lankusta kaytavalle aukinaisessa huoneessa. Lankkuja oli n. 3kpl kummallakin puolella.
Juna lahti, puoli tuntia myohassa, tasmallisesti liikkeelle. Raksyttaen uskollisesti eteenpain. Kerjalaiset menivat, pysahdysten aikana, vahan valia kerjaten ohi. Paras tapa (minun mielesta) selvitya, on ollut totaalinen valinpitamattomyys. Pummeilta lahtee kaikki kiinnekohdat mihin takertua, vaikka he kylla tulevat koskettelemaan huolimatta ilmeisesta leprasta. Ja toiseksi, se voi kannustaa heita kerjaamaan lisaa. Yleensa kaupungeissa on hyvantekevaisyys jarjestoja joihin voi lahjoittaa rahaa koyhille. Ne ovat paikkoja joista kerjalaiset saavat suurimman osan tuloistaan.
Konduktoori tulee hetken paasta, ottaa lippuni ja pyyta minut parin korttelin paahan avoinaiseen hyttiin. Ongelmana on se, etta nettilipussa on nimeni, mutta junalistassa sita ei ole. Joten, minun taytyy ostaa lippuni uudestaan. Nopea soitto kaverille, pari vaihdettua sanaa, akun loppuminen. Lopulta saan selville konduktoorien bluffaavan hapeilemattomasti ja lahden kappailemaan. Nyt kaverit ovat pelkkaa hymya ja sossuuvat paria bideeta (intialainen tupakka). Toinen heista selittaa huolehtivan kuudesta lapsesta ja kolmesta vaimosta. En voi sanoa muuta kuin, etta minulla on 100 vaimoa Somessa.
Lopulta saan perseeni takaisin penkilleni, jonka olin vaihtanut, vierustoverin ehdotuksesta, varaamastani paikasta keskemmalle vaunua varkaiden pelossa. Heitimme lappaa kaikennakoisesta. Suomen yhteiskunnasta, terveydenhuollosta ja naisista. Kunnes juttu alkoi menemaan heikonlaisen 'vakuutan-olevani-hyva-jatka' puheen puolelle. Aija, jolla oli liattu punainen nahkatakki, rupiset lenkkarit, alkoi selittamaan tuonti-vienti yhtiostaan ja naisseikkailustaan. Yhdessa valissa han naytti jotain onnetonta ranne amulettia, johon oli
kiinnitetty.. no, jokin kiven kaltainen. Yksi kohta edusti maata, toinen taivasta ja jotain. Hanella on Henkinen mestari, joka pystyy ihmeisiin. Nakee mieleen, ja auttaa ihmeellisilla tavoilla jumalan armosta. No onko tuo sitten valaistuminen? Ei kuulemma ollut, ja mietin mita helvettia teen silla tiedolla, jos saan selville jokaisen varhaisteinin hormoonien jyllaamat ajatukset paahani? Yhta hyvin voin pistaa Mtv: paalle.
Lopulta han, omin sanoin avasi sydantaan, kertoi kayvansa aina silloin talloin hierontapalvelussa. Koska kun on kaukana perheesta, maastaan ja kotoaan, alkaa tarvitsemaan kaikennakoista (ilmeisesti viittasi minuun) hellyytta. Silloin yleensa ottaa tallaisen palvelun, jossa nuoret tytot hierovat ja joita voi hieroa. Kuulemma viela niin nuoret ettei heihin voi yhtya. Hintana vain 1500 - 2000rs (30-40e) Epailin vahan tuota. Kyseessa oli ilmiselva markkinointi yritys, epailematta kaikkea saa taalla, jos on vain rahaa. Menetin ruokahaluni.
Voin pahoin ja olin uneton jet lagista. Nyt voin pahoin, kun en voi tehda mitaan maan tavoille.

maanantai 24. marraskuuta 2008

Mainokset

Ennemmin tai myohemmin tanne pomppaa mainoksia jokaisen lukija kiusaksi. Nayttaa silta ettei niilta paase pakoon, eika niita pysty voittamaan. Ainoa mahdollisuus on siis liittya mukaan joukkoon, vaikka se saattanee olla inhottava vaihtoehto.
Jokainen penni joka kilahtaa postiluukustani, paatyy minun hentoisten kasien kautta hyvantekevaisyyteen. Joten jos tunnet olosi sopivan mielentilaani, ole hyva ja klikkaa mainosta. Jos tunnet olosi sopimattomaksi mielentilaani, ole hyva ja klikkaa itsesi ulos.

merci beacoup!

Sex in the city (New Delhi)

Vaikka voisi kuvitella Intian pysyvan perinteissa, koskien parisuhteita ja avioliittoja, todellisuus on hyvin toisenlainen. Pitkat perinteet ovat murtumassa koyhyyden painon alla ja lansimaisten arvojen tunkiessa kenkaa sisalle ovesta. Se ei silti ole koko totuus. Sen esimerkkina toimivat muinaiset temppelit, joiden kuvasto on vahintaan po... eroottista.

1. Yli 20% Delhin asukkaista ei nae ongelmana avioliiton ulkopuolisia suhteita.

2. Yksi viidesta hyppii yli kummankin rajan.

3. 15% miehista on homoseksuaaleja

4. Yksi viidesta naisesta on ollut mukana pornoelokuvassa.

Helppo ei ole paikallisen lain artikla 497, jonka mukaan aviomies voi syyttaa puolisonsa kanssa ollutta miesta. Mutta puoliso ei voi nostaa oikeusjuttua aviomiestaan kohtaan, mikali tama on ollut uskoton.

New Delhi pt.2

Lopulta selvisi, etta Chaman oli hotellissa odottanut minua ja mina olin odottanut hanen kotiovensa vieressa. Lopulta loysimme itsemme lahella olevasta ravintolasta. Minun kauhistukseksini Chamanin kahdesta kaverista yksi oli Kanadassa asuva intialainen, joka osaa puhua saamea! Uskokaa tai alkaa, mutta tama lisattyna kulttuurishokkiin, se oli aivan liikaa yhdelle paivalle.

Pari vinkkia matkalle:

Ala hyvaksy ensimmaista tarjousta vain huomataksesi viereisessa puodissa samaa tuotetta, myytavana puolet halvemalla. Tingi royhkeasti. Hinnat on vahintaan tuplattuja. Paitsi jos eksyt reebokin kauppaan. Siella ehka kannattaa pitaa kommentti-arsenaali kotelossa. Tietenkin jos tykkaa itsensa nolaamisesta, silloin homman koukku on eri.

Ala katso kauppiaita, kuskeja. Kavele kukkona ohi, nain saat oman rauhasi. On parempi olla tyly ja turvassa kuin kiltti ja kuollut.

Ala hikoile turhaan. Mikaan ei ole typerampaa kuin syyttaa ilman nayttoa viatonta. Tarjoa safkat kavereille ravintolassa. Ei kuitenkaan ole paha tikki heittaa 1e menemaan.

Suurin osa ns. pyhista miehista on pelkkia kusettajia, jotka himoitsevat persettasi ja rahojasi. Omalla vastuullanne hyvat naiset ja herrat, lankkarit saattanee olla niita pahimpia.

Lahde kikkailemaan auringon nousun aikaan katolle. On hienoa katsoa saasteiden tummentamia
rukouslippuja ja nahda varisten lentavat parvissa aukealla, myrkyllisen tumman yasodhara joen
ylapuolella.

Koe metro. Paras simulaatio orjalaivojen tiivistaa sosiaalisesta tunnelmasta (vaikka minullahan ei asiasta ole mitaan kokemusta ja harvat kaverit intiassa eivat edes muistuta orjia).

Heita lappaa paikallisten kanssa. Itse sain Tiib. Budh. munkin kanssa henkevan keskustelun aikaiseksi. Han ei osannut sanaakaan englantia. Paras puhuja vahaan aikaan.